The Friendship Check
Let’s jump to the points right away!
Friends who actually care about you:
Accept you for being you
Make you feel valid
Do not make you feel inferior
Listen to your points with interest
Seek help from you and help you with the same energy
Remember you in both of yours good and bad times
Puts and respects boundaries
Friends who are using you:
Will treat you like an extra person
Criticize you or praise you according to their needs
Will not listen to your points if it is not for their benefit
Remembers you during their needs
Are eager to take help, but not so much to help you
Make you constantly try to include yourself in their group
Makes joke at your expense to impress someone else
They are your best friend if they:
Keep and share secrets
Do not make you feel tensed
You let go of minute wrongdoings of each other
You don’t feel awkward to apologize
You do not hold on to grudges
You don’t get jealous of each other
You love each other irrespective of social stereotypes
You both talk about studies AND favorite WWE wrestler
You don’t have to talk to each other to remain friends
You don’t violate each other’s boundaries (of course, the boundaries are different for different person, and you choose for yourself)
Best friend is ambiguous in meaning. As you grow up you will know that you can have many good friends and not just one best friend.
What does not make you friends (just classmates / associates):
You don’t feel excited to talk to each other
Your conversation is limited to generic stuff like ‘Hey how are you’, ‘Good’
When you try to rank your friends, their name doesn’t come in your mind
You don’t find any interest to know each other better
This does not mean you hate them or dislike them. The world is not black and white. You are just neutral and that is OKAY.
Being selfless is friendship does not mean you have to support everything your friend does so that they don’t leave you.
If you are scared to voice your opinions in front of them, for whatever reason, it is time to part your ways.
If you have undue advantage over anyone, try and rectify your behavior. In a healthy friendship, you are neither the bully nor the bullied.
If your friendship with a certain group is making you a thoughtless person, and does not help you in growing as a person, it is time to leave as it might actually be a bad influence in your life.
Loving someone may not be conditional but letting them in your life must be conditional.